Update on Kraemer life

We just got an apartment and we will be sending out the address soon. We moved in last night after a long deal with land lords and what not. Ella is doing great. She is getting so big, and giggels now. How cool is that. My little baby laughs. Not a whole lot, but still laughs just the same. Crystal is loving being closer to family, as am I. I started working my job this week, and I have to tell you it was a rough start. The home I am working in was VERY UNORGANIZED and nothing was done. I walked into a HUGE mess. But things are starting to pick up and I am starting to really like the residents. I will be able to update this more often i hope.
~Learning as I go~
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Illinois

We made it. We are here in Bourbonnais Illinois. WE are staying with Crystals parents until hopefully tomorrow. We have an apartment but we have to paint first. So just wanted to let you all know that we are here finally. MIss all of our Kansas folks, but ready to start life here.
~Learning as I go~
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Wives and Mothers I have a new found respect

I have no idea how they do it. Crystal is the most amazing person I know. Not only was she sweet enough to marry me, but she is the mother of our beautiful little girl. I don't know how she does it. She is at home full time which is hard in it self. Yet she has time to get packing, feed and take care of Ella, and still dinner is ready when i get home. I have never had to worry about anything. She gets up at night (and i help when she wakes me just so you know) But she does all this stuff and has no help during the day. Taking care of a baby is insanely hard. Especially when you have no family here. So I have to say, I admire her more and more everyday. Us guys could never go through all that. Nine months of being a prego, and then having to pretty much stop your life to take care of a little human. WOW. Thats all i got...WOW.
~Learning as I go~
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One Chapter over a new one starting

The house is starting to look like it is actually taking place. Friends that we have come to love and enjoy are going to have to say good bye. We came here only knowing a few people. We were not even married yet. And now we are packing up and heading to a new chapter in life, and with a new little one. Of course Ella will not remember all the amazing great people we met while living here. She will see the pictures of how little she was, and how so many people have become Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles. It is a bitter sweet feeling. We are leaving a great job and place that we love, but going to a place that we also love and have family. Ella will get to grow up with her cousins, marmi and grandpa. We will get to see old friends and meet some new ones.
Its kind of amazing to me how life just happens. Rather we are ready or not. God has a great way of letting that happen. We are so ready to be moved but also wanting to stay here in Kansas with the people that have become our family. Its one of those things that you would just take your life and everything in it on the move so we can all still be close.
Bittersweet like I said. Exciting and scary all at the same time. Guess we will just have to see where this new chapter takes us. But before I get to far ahead of myself, I need to start packing. Only 4 days and we head out. I need to get going.
~Learning as I go~
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Am I really that selfish?

I was just reading something someone else wrote and it really got me thinking about things. I think it is so selfish how we complain about not having. I will admit...I have LOTS of wants. I want so many different things. I am very blessed to have what I do have, and some times I think we take it all for granted. This is something I am really praying about. I am not saying it is bad to want things. Not at all. We all want things. But dwelling on them is totally different. I want a ipod, I want dogs, I want lots of things. Am I happy with out them. That is the question we need to ask ourselves. Are we satisfied with what God has blessed us with. I have been blessed with lots. I have an amazing wife, healthy baby girl, great family. I can go on and on. I have so much but i feel like maybe I dont give back enough. I struggle with this and have been for a long time now. Then i just read these quotes by Mother Teresa. I wish I had her attitude.
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But
the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you
without leaving happier.

It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may
live as you wish.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.

I want to live like that. Be like that. I can do with out a lot more. But to actually live my life like that is a lot harder then it sounds. I feel like I am a pretty simple person. I need to get over the "I'm poor" attitude and realize how great i have it and how blessed I truly am. Does that mean i no longer want the ipod...ect.? Not at all, i still want it, but i need to learn how to be content, and give more to others, not just money but myself. Something more for me to pray and seek God on.
~Learning as I go~
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Worship...What is it all about really?

The actual definition that I found on worship is this...
worship1 [ˈwəːʃip] verb — past tense, past participle ˈworshipped, (American) ˈworshiped
to pay great honor to
Example: to worship God
That really did not help me out a whole lot. I went to a youth retreat this weekend. And we had a great night, the speaker was amazing. Big Chap....he did a great job.
They did have a band come in to lead worship, and it was very good. I have a hard time sometimes at these events for a few reasons. I remember when I was younger and it was all based on emotion. You know, you have all heard it....kinda like the camp high. As soon as I would go home then eventually life would go back to its normal routine.
As the band was playing I was just sitting in the back watching people. I like to do that. I noticed that many people worship in many different ways. For me the best way to worship is just sit there and soak it all in. Not even singing sometimes, just sit there and pray or just be silent before God. Some people raise their hands, others dance, jump, it does not matter. It is how you offer him praise.
And isnt that what worship really is all about. I get a little frustrated when people say, "I dont go to that church anymore because I dont like the way they worship" or like at this event "I just couldnt get into worship because I was not into this type of music." Worship is not what we can get out of it. It is what we put into it. What we give to God. We worship Him, He does not worship us. We should not be getting anything out of it. We should be putting into it, and when we do that, then we feel the presence of Him. So I think I am going to make up my own definition of what I think worship is.
Worship- Giving to God, seaking his presence. Showing Him Honor.
A little lack I know...but to me it is that simple. What WE give to HIM. Not what HE gives to us.
So rather you worship to headbanging, hymns, praise bands, or just sit and be silent, do it for God, not for your self.

Fatherhood

Ever wonder when you are doing something, "What the Heck am I doing" and decide you are not good enough to finish the job you started? Well i hate not finishing a job but somethings are just to big for you. I am going through that right now. Being a dad is the most amazing thing in the world but at the same time it is insanely scary. I was sitting with her last night at about 3:15 AM and when she wont sleep I just try to stay relaxed. Well I was OVERLY tired so I thought I will just sit here hold her and pray. She was suppose to be going back to sleep but instead she was looking up at me smiling. How can you be annoyed by that. So I was praying and all of a sudden i had these crazy thoughts. They were....Dude what are you doing, you are in charge of this little person for the rest of her life. What if she decides that she is going to be rebellious and not want anything to do with God in high school. What if she gets picked on a lot in school, how will i handle it when or if people are mean to her, what if what if what if. It was like i was being attacked all at once. And she just sat there and smiled at me the whole time. So of course i get to thinking about my parents and Crystal's parents. We both had great parents, and we turned out alright. Yeah I did my share of stupid things, but it is true what they say, You want so much more for your children. I don't want her to go to school and be picked on by kids, i don't want her to be the one picking on kids. I want her to grow up and be a woman of God. Everyone wants the best for their kids. And the more i worried about it the more she just laid in my arms and smiled at me. Then it was like God hit me in the face. Enjoy her, pray for her. Thats all you can do right now. So i did, i just kept praying. Eventually put in a Disney cartoon because she was not going to sleep. When she finally did i just laid on the couch with her on my chest and thought....this is what it is all about. God is so amazing. The whole world could fall apart and it would not matter at this moment, i have the woman of my dreams and a baby girl. I have said it once and i will say it again, God is amazing. I still have those worries. But, all we can do is pray. I have to admit....life never has been so good.