Wednesday, February 10, 2010

We all get tired.

Even the strongest minded people have their moments. Thats why there is a God like ours. To often we get the mindset that we can do it all on our own. I cant do anything on my own, I just pretend like I can. I was talking to a friend yesterday, and this person just got a great new job, that she is perfect for. She spent the last 20 some years raising her kids and running a home. And now she decided that it is time for her to get back in the career world. One of her kids is making some of the dumbest decisions. Going against everything she was brought up to believe and everything she was taught. She is older and out of the house so what can a parent do? My friend made the comment with tears in her eyes, (and this is a STRONG woman, doesn't cry very easy)
"I spent the last 20 years raising my kids for what? I could have been pursing my career, but i stayed home for what?"
How do you answer a question like that? Sometimes I think as pastors we don't always have to have the right answers. We just have to be there to listen and let people ask and seek for themselves. She has a few other children at home still, and they are seeing what the oldest sibling is doing in the lives of the family. This lady is a good mom. No, she is a great mom. She did what she knew to do. The rest we have to give to God. Which is SO hard to do with your kids. Mine are only 3, 1 and in the mama's belly, but I know this first hand. It is hard not to want to try to control it all.
I wish people didn't have to feel this helpless. Watching someone you hold very close to you fall away from the family is hard to do. I cant imagine being in her shoes right now. I told her I would be praying for her and her family. Didn't really know what else to say. And I am not going to talk for the sake of talking. To many people do more damage then good when they do that. I heard today something that I really liked. It said, "One job of a pastor is to ASK the questions, not just answer them. That way people think."
I liked that....

~Learning as I Go~

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Baby?? Again??

In December Morgan turned one. In Jan Miss Ella turned three. And now baby number three is on the way. I was just getting use to not having to get a bottle at 3 am. It is funny how so many things change after the first child. When you find out you are going to be a parent for the first time you kinda freak out. Have to get all new stuff, scared out of your mind, and then when the baby gets here you are completely lost and paranoid that every germ is going to get your kid, you are going to be a bad parent, and you realize that you are never going to sleep again. And I am just going to be honest. Babies cry and poop and sleep. So as wonderful as it is, it is also very odd. Then kid #2 shows up, and you are a little more relaxed, still nervous, but VERY excited.
I found out that we were going to have baby #3 from a text message. We were in Illinois for a funeral. Crystal and the girls stayed a week longer than I was able to. I had to leave pretty early in the morning so I said my goodbyes the night before. Crystal was not feeling well the whole time she was there, but we just assumed it was a cold or the flu. NOPE. I got a text in the airport, and it was kinda funny. She text me a few times and i was in check in so I couldnt check them. I just read the last one she sent. It said: "Sorry I didnt get to see you off, have a great flight and miss you already."
I call to say goodbye and that i loved her and to give the girls a kiss for me. Ended the conversation and she sounded a little annoyed. I then remember that I have a few more texts to read, and sure enough there is one that says something like this: "Well we are going to have baby #3. Surprise." Something to that idea.
Yes I was VERY surprised. So there you have it. Baby #3 is on his or her way. Miss Ella was not to excited when we told her, but pretty sure that will change with time. And like I said, I was just getting use to sleeping through the night. Here we go again. Cant complain, I have cute kids.

~Learning as I Go~

This thing called life...

I think it is funny how you can not be in contact with someone for weeks, months, or even years, but when you reconnect with certain people things just pick back up where you left off. Almost like no time has passed when in reality it could have been several years. This just happened to me with a really good friend from my senior year. Normally I am the person that goes up to people assuming that they want to be my friend. I think everyone should be my friend. Cocky? No just like friends. My senior year my family moved from Pekin Illinois to Jamestown North Dakota. Not a great move for me being it was my last year of high school, but it was what it was. Right before school started I received a phone call from a girl named Leigh Carter. Here is how the conversation went:
LEIGH-Hi, is this Scot.
LEIGH-Do you like football?
ME-Sure i guess
LEIGH-Good we will be at your house in 10 min. to go to a football game...
LEIGH-Oh my name is Leigh, i am freinds with Cindy Hanson (who is my moms best friend fro HS)
ME-OK?? mom i think i am going to a football game, with leigh, i dont know her either....

That was the first conversation with my good friend from High School. She is now a pastors wife, and I think struggling with the whole typical "pastor-wife." All the dumb expectations that people put on people in the ministry is pretty frusterating and annoying. So Leigh...Here is my advise to you. SCREW IT. You be the pastor's wife that God is creating you to be. Dont worry about what people say. You be you. God has you in that job because He thinks you are the perfect partner for Dan, and the perfect person to be the first lady of your church.
And after we kinda reconnected it made me think of all the people God has brought to me in my life. I dont really know a stranger. I am the person people dread to sit with on air plane, why? Because if I sit with you, and even if I have no clue who you are, I will talk your ear off. My best friend from High School, I went up to him in the cafeteria and asked him for lunch money one day. We clicked and became best friends. I think I still owe him the money....hope he is not reading this.
As a youth pastor it is hard to find time to find friends your age, and that can be really frustrating. I love being with my youth group. But sometimes you just need to be with people your age so for a short time you can be an adult. But then I remember that being an adult isnt as fun.

~Learning as I Go~