I am one of those people who want a lot of things. And when I get my mind set on something I will talk about it and bug people until I finally get it. Drives my poor wife crazy. It becomes this obsession with me. It is all I can think about, all I want to think about. I will search the Internet over and over and find out everything that I possibly can about what ever it is that I am obsessed with. And most of the time is it something that I don't need, and that I can totally live with out, but of course at this time I don't see it that way. I need it and I will complain and act like the biggest baby till I get one. And most of the time my wife finally caves and I get what I want, or something newer and cooler comes up and that then become my new obsession. The last thing that it was, and still kind of is was a dog. I am a HUGE dog person. You talk to me long enough and you will know that. Or just get on my facebook and at least once a week it will say....I WANT A DOG.....
Anyway, we had a great Golden Retriever. His name was Toby and he was the perfect dog. He did shed a lot but over all he was the perfect dog. As he got older he developed food allergies. So we were paying 50 bucks for a 25 lbs of dog food. A full grown golden will eat that and part of another bag in a month. So we were spending $100 dollars a month on food alone. We found out that we were pregnant with Miss Ella and realized that we just could not afford buying that food and also getting ready to have a baby. So I had to make the tough horrible decision of finding him a new home, either that or feeding him normal food and letting all his hair fall out. Found him a great home, they knew about the food thing and still wanted to take him. It was the end of the world in my eyes. Yes I was excited about having a baby but come on this was my dog...my other baby...so I cried like a huge baby over a dog. Now my dear sweet wife promised me that we would get another Golden as soon as we could. And I talked and talked about getting another dog for 2 years. I mean obsessed over it. Crystal kept saying be patient, the right dog will come along with time. Now those of you who have gotten to know me know that I am not at all a detailed person, nor am I a planner. We find out we are pregnant with baby number two. And as soon as we find out of course I was excited but I thought...this is not going to slow down me getting a dog. We get called to come up here, get into our house, and I realize that we have this HUGE back yard, and figure it is time to get a dog. Now like I said we are Golden Retriever people. That is both of our favorite breed. And my mom has one that she breeds, and said we can have a puppy for free. So I am thinking...sweet we are totally set. As soon as her dog has pups I will go pick one out and there ya have it. But then I get to talking to my mom and realize that she wont go into heat for at least another six months. Now when you have been waiting for something for 2 years, and you finally realize you can get it, 6 months feels like 2 years again. So being the ever so wise father and hubby that I am I find a dog on the Internet that is not to expensive, smaller, doesn't shed, and it great with kids. And she was a pretty cute puppy. So against Crystal's wishes, she said I could but it was the, “Yes you can but you are not thinking clearly and we will regret this,” I pick put my puppy. So I find this cute little cockapoo in Minot and we, or I decide that this is the dog for us. Mind you Crystal was still pregnant with Morgan. Yeah husband of the year I am. We bring her home and she is the cutest little thing, Small, black and brown. So I name her Mocha. Now the whole time I had her I kept comparing her to Toby the golden I had. And she really wasn't filling the dog shoes that I wanted her too. But she was my dog and I loved her anyway. We became pretty close. She would sleep on the couch with me when I would take naps. We would go on walks...rough house. Even Miss Ella would carry her around and she wouldn't do much. Well I notice that she is starting to get the little dog attitude. You know...the I'm the boss so watch out. One day at work I get a call from my wife and she sounds a little shook up. I'm like babe whats wrong, and she tells me that this wonderful little dog showed her teeth to her and nipped at her while she was trying to put her in the kennel. Of course I'm thinking...yeah right Mocha wouldn't do that. I just say well lets keep an eye on her and see if she does it again. Inside I knew we should not have gotten her, but “I needed a dog” remember. Well I was home one afternoon and we were getting ready to go out and I told Crystal to put Mocha in her kennel and I saw with my own eyes the devilish dog show her teeth. Well that was the end of that....cant have a dog in my house who is like that with 2 little kids. So we found a home for her and we are yet again with out a dog. So now whenever I am on line looking at dogs, Crystal just has to say...”MOCHA” and she starts to explain why we WILL wait for a dog. And then I remember why I need to be patient for once in my life. (but I will have one soon..!) In James 1:17 it says Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven.
Now I tell that story to explain we sometimes have ideas of our own on what to do with our life. We have it all planned out. What we are going to do where we are going to live. Sometimes God has other ideas for us.
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you wont be disappointed.
I love in that verse where is says...”plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the FUTURE YOU HOPE FOR.” It does not say the future you want, but the future you HOPE for. God knows what it is we truly hope for. He is not going to disappoint us. So even if we have it all figured out, He might have other plans for us, and they are so much more then what we think it is that we want. Some of you are wondering about many things in your life and future. Why did this happen? Or, Why is this happening to me? Why did we break up? What is your call for me God? I have good news for you guys. God already has it planned out. You just need to have faith and follow. Seek Him and see where it takes you.
One of the hardest things for me when I was getting close to graduation in college was what to do with my life. I heard the verse I just read about knowing the plans I have for you and all that. I understood that, but wish that God would hurry up and pass on that info to me. “If you know it all God, then why are you not telling me?” I would get so annoyed. I asked my self all the questions you guys have asked or will ask. Who should I marry? where should I move? what job should I do? What are you calling me to do? I didn't have any direction. I'm going to tell you guys something now that I wish I would have heard and learned back then. It would have saved me a TON of stress on both me and Crystal.
I went to our board retreat a while back and we listened to Erwin McManus who is the author of Chasing Daylight. And he had lots to say about life. But the thing that hit me the most and I wish I would have known it 5 years ago when I graduated was this:
“You go unless you get a no...not wait for a call. Last thing Jesus said was go. You keep going until God says stop. Do whatever, just DO, and watch how God will lead you. If we are truly following, we will go where God wants us to go. He wont let us go where He doesn't want us to go. To often WE try to find out God's call for us, rather than just doing what He wants.
~Learning as I Go~