New Blog

I have moved....
http://scotkraemer.wordpress.com/

We all get tired.

Even the strongest minded people have their moments. Thats why there is a God like ours. To often we get the mindset that we can do it all on our own. I cant do anything on my own, I just pretend like I can. I was talking to a friend yesterday, and this person just got a great new job, that she is perfect for. She spent the last 20 some years raising her kids and running a home. And now she decided that it is time for her to get back in the career world. One of her kids is making some of the dumbest decisions. Going against everything she was brought up to believe and everything she was taught. She is older and out of the house so what can a parent do? My friend made the comment with tears in her eyes, (and this is a STRONG woman, doesn't cry very easy)

"I spent the last 20 years raising my kids for what? I could have been pursing my career, but i stayed home for what?"

How do you answer a question like that? Sometimes I think as pastors we don't always have to have the right answers. We just have to be there to listen and let people ask and seek for themselves. She has a few other children at home still, and they are seeing what the oldest sibling is doing in the lives of the family. This lady is a good mom. No, she is a great mom. She did what she knew to do. The rest we have to give to God. Which is SO hard to do with your kids. Mine are only 3, 1 and in the mama's belly, but I know this first hand. It is hard not to want to try to control it all.

I wish people didn't have to feel this helpless. Watching someone you hold very close to you fall away from the family is hard to do. I cant imagine being in her shoes right now. I told her I would be praying for her and her family. Didn't really know what else to say. And I am not going to talk for the sake of talking. To many people do more damage then good when they do that. I heard today something that I really liked. It said, "One job of a pastor is to ASK the questions, not just answer them. That way people think."

I liked that....

~Learning as I Go~

One-T

Baby?? Again??

In December Morgan turned one. In Jan Miss Ella turned three. And now baby number three is on the way. I was just getting use to not having to get a bottle at 3 am. It is funny how so many things change after the first child. When you find out you are going to be a parent for the first time you kinda freak out. Have to get all new stuff, scared out of your mind, and then when the baby gets here you are completely lost and paranoid that every germ is going to get your kid, you are going to be a bad parent, and you realize that you are never going to sleep again. And I am just going to be honest. Babies cry and poop and sleep. So as wonderful as it is, it is also very odd. Then kid #2 shows up, and you are a little more relaxed, still nervous, but VERY excited.
I found out that we were going to have baby #3 from a text message. We were in Illinois for a funeral. Crystal and the girls stayed a week longer than I was able to. I had to leave pretty early in the morning so I said my goodbyes the night before. Crystal was not feeling well the whole time she was there, but we just assumed it was a cold or the flu. NOPE. I got a text in the airport, and it was kinda funny. She text me a few times and i was in check in so I couldnt check them. I just read the last one she sent. It said: "Sorry I didnt get to see you off, have a great flight and miss you already."
I call to say goodbye and that i loved her and to give the girls a kiss for me. Ended the conversation and she sounded a little annoyed. I then remember that I have a few more texts to read, and sure enough there is one that says something like this: "Well we are going to have baby #3. Surprise." Something to that idea.
Yes I was VERY surprised. So there you have it. Baby #3 is on his or her way. Miss Ella was not to excited when we told her, but pretty sure that will change with time. And like I said, I was just getting use to sleeping through the night. Here we go again. Cant complain, I have cute kids.

~Learning as I Go~
One-t

This thing called life...

I think it is funny how you can not be in contact with someone for weeks, months, or even years, but when you reconnect with certain people things just pick back up where you left off. Almost like no time has passed when in reality it could have been several years. This just happened to me with a really good friend from my senior year. Normally I am the person that goes up to people assuming that they want to be my friend. I think everyone should be my friend. Cocky? No just like friends. My senior year my family moved from Pekin Illinois to Jamestown North Dakota. Not a great move for me being it was my last year of high school, but it was what it was. Right before school started I received a phone call from a girl named Leigh Carter. Here is how the conversation went:
ME-Hello
LEIGH-Hi, is this Scot.
ME-Yes,
LEIGH-Do you like football?
ME-Sure i guess
LEIGH-Good we will be at your house in 10 min. to go to a football game...
ME-Uh....
LEIGH-Oh my name is Leigh, i am freinds with Cindy Hanson (who is my moms best friend fro HS)
ME-OK?? mom i think i am going to a football game, with leigh, i dont know her either....

That was the first conversation with my good friend from High School. She is now a pastors wife, and I think struggling with the whole typical "pastor-wife." All the dumb expectations that people put on people in the ministry is pretty frusterating and annoying. So Leigh...Here is my advise to you. SCREW IT. You be the pastor's wife that God is creating you to be. Dont worry about what people say. You be you. God has you in that job because He thinks you are the perfect partner for Dan, and the perfect person to be the first lady of your church.
And after we kinda reconnected it made me think of all the people God has brought to me in my life. I dont really know a stranger. I am the person people dread to sit with on air plane, why? Because if I sit with you, and even if I have no clue who you are, I will talk your ear off. My best friend from High School, I went up to him in the cafeteria and asked him for lunch money one day. We clicked and became best friends. I think I still owe him the money....hope he is not reading this.
As a youth pastor it is hard to find time to find friends your age, and that can be really frustrating. I love being with my youth group. But sometimes you just need to be with people your age so for a short time you can be an adult. But then I remember that being an adult isnt as fun.

~Learning as I Go~
One-t

Father of the year....(or not)

My beautiful Miss Ella will be 3 in just 15 minutes. And she is sound asleep. And dadddy should be sleeping as well but for some reason my mind is just racing. Maybe it is a parent thing, or maybe it is just a scot thing, but my kids are a majority of my thoughts. I adore them, cant get enough of them. So I am sitting here thinking, wow what a great year it has been. Morgan just turned 1, which is crazy to see her develop her extremely funny personality. And been a blast watching Miss Ella turn into the young lady that she is becoming. But as she gets older, and smarter she is starting to really pick up on what people say and do, and she copies them. We now can not watch regular tv. If we are watching even a good family program, its those darn commercials that will get you. Let me tell you a little story......
The other night we were watching a American Idol rewind. One of those shows that go back and you see all the old stuff. Nothing else was on and I enjoy watching the bad people sing. Well a commercial came on about this new lawyer show. And one of the female lawyers called another character a bad word. The exact term was a douche bag. So what does my Miss Ella do? (mind you she is sitting on the floor not watching but playing with barbies). But she looks up and says "daddy your a douche bag." And then goes back to playing her barbies like nothing happened. Not gonna lie I had to really hold back on the laughing. But explained really calmly and not making a issue out of it that it wasnt the best thing to say. So that was that.
Well then the other night again we are watching The Office. A very funny show that Crystal and I both love to watch. Miss Ella and Crystal were on the couch coloring and someone on the show calls Michael Scott a "Dumb _____" So what does my sweet Miss Ella do yet again? YUP....she looks up and just says "Dumb ____" As if it was part of her every day vocab. So here 2 weeks before my baby turns 3 she says them both. Now lucky for me America's Funniest Home Video's was on the next channel so I could use that as an excuse for my so not mature laughter. And poor Crystal had to handle that one. But like I said.....father of the year....or not! Happy Birthday Miss Ella.

~Learning As I Go~
One-T

How my mind works....

Im sore. My leggs, shins, hips, arms, abs....
Good sore but sore just the same. I started bringing food to the office. Maybe breakfast is a good idea after all. Not as hungry during the day so I stop snacking.
So a guy here at church convinced me to go work out with him at 5 45 am. Let me just tell you how my mind was going the first few mornings as we were working out.....

Wow Im tired....how long have we been doing this?......only 5 minutes......dang i hate my life right now....wow im tired....how long now?....only 7 minutes.....wow this sucks.....how did i get this out of shape.....how long now?......9 minutes....why is this taking so long....i hate my friend......I think i am going to trip him.....

Dont worry I didnt trip him, but I do have a membership now, so I no longer have to sneak in to work out. Still cant go as far as my friend but I am getting much MUCH better.
I have an accountability partner now. I have been told by many people that having one is a great way to keep yourself in check spiritually. And it really is. I was hesitant at first, because I just assumed it would be one of those things...."Hey want to be accountability partners? You do? Great!!!" And that be it. But we have really developed a great relationship, and we talk about a ton of things that we struggle with, things that are helping us grow, things that we can pray for each other with. And then we follow up to make sure that we are doing what we are saying we are doing. i have been in the word more now then I ever have in my life. And my prayer life is really changing. I feel that I am actually having a conversation with God, and not just talking because we are suppose to.
I have been reading a chapter of Proverbs a day. I do it monthly. And each month Proverbs teaches me something new. I have really been enjoying it. I have been reading out of the Message because I love the way it words things. And yes I know, people dont care for it cause it's not really the bible....whatever, God speaks to me through it so say what you want. :)

~Learning As I Go~
One-T

Thoughts on Loneliness

I like to surround myself with people all the time. I do not like being alone. Even if whoever it is I am around, if we do not talk or say anything at all, just nice to know that someone is there with you. Maybe it is because I am from a huge family, we never really had the opportunity to be alone, or maybe it is just my personality. And with my job now, I seldom if ever have alone time. I still have my time with God, but that isnt really alone time, He is still there. I had to go to Los Angeles for a conference last month. Going to LA for this Dakota boy was quit the experience. I had no clue that so many people could live in such close areas. (BTW the Hollywood sign = DISAPPOINTMENT)

I was able to stay with some very good friends of mine but I only got to see them EARY in the morning when they dropped me off at the convention center, or LATE at night when they had to come get me after it was all over.

I am at this HUGE center and there are people all around. TONS of people. It was actually a bit overwhelming. As I was sitting there waiting for the next session to begin I got this really not so fun feeling inside of me. It was in the pit of my stomach. I went to this conference for a few things. The main was to grow spiritually, but the other was to really learn more and get reminded as to why I am a youth pastor. Well this feeling was not going away and I didnt like it at all. I have never felt this before. I went to get some food, and while I was sitting there eating watching all the people who have come to this together, it hit me. I was lonely. How on earth can you leave small life North Dakota and go to LA where there are more people then I have ever seen in my life and possibly feel lonely? I tried to shrug it off but the longer the day went the worse the feeling was. I had all these people around me, more then I have ever been around in my life probably. And yet I was lonely. I would go to the sessions and PRAY that someone would sit by me who actually wanted to talk. At one point, I was at the night session and I found my seat. It was normally VERY packed, and I wanted to get their early so I was not way in the back again. I found a whole row in the middle that was open so I decided I was going to sit half way through it so people would have to sit by me. A group came and asked if the open seats were taken and I said no. So more and more people started coming. A guy sat down and asked if the 5 chairs to my left were open. I said yes and he sat down right by me and saved the other 4. Well he had some other friends come and looked at me and said, "Oh Im sorry, I was saving these, can you please move." ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

At first I thought I was going to just stand my ground and stay there. I thought I paid just as much as you did to come to this. But then, I realized that it would be awkward for us all through the session if I stayed. So with that every so holy Jesus smile I said, "Im sorry, no problem." Once again feeling lonely.

That night the speaker was really good. I cant totally remember what he all spoke on, but God really spoke to me. I realized that I was not at all relying on Him like I should be. I make myself so busy that I dont really have time to focus on God. I tell all my students and friends that God is always there, and that we should make time for Him, but was I living that. Not at all. It was like He was telling me, "Scot, dude, this is the feeling I have when you ignore me. I have all the people in the world to be around, but I want to be with you." HUGE wake up call. I did some major soul searching and praying that night. The next night I decided that I was going to be with people. I wanted to really worship in the service and just enjoy the last evening of the conference. I went all the way up to the third row. Found a row of empty seats and prayed that I would get to stay there. I sat down and shortly after that a guy came up to me and asked if the open seats were taken. "No, how many do you need?" Just the one he said, he was there alone as well. Then two other people came up and asked for seats, they were also alone. So a group of us loners had a great night of worship. The speaker and music was fantastic. I learned what it was to feel alone. Glad that I have a God that says I dont EVER have to feel that way.

~Learning as I go~

One-T